The Ten Commandments as Marriage Vows

 

The Ten Commandments as Marriage Vows

 

1^st Commandment – I AM Yehovah Eloheinu, you shall have no other gods in My face.

I am your covenanted spouse; you may not make me jealous with another person.

 

2^nd Commandment – You shall not have any graven image/idol.

We must not hold any other person, way of life or item of possession in esteem as highly as our spouse.
Only Yehovah is held in higher esteem.

 

3^rd Commandment – You shall not take the Name of Yehovah lightly or you shall esteem the Name Yehovah more highly than any other name.

Our surname is such that everyone knows that we are in covenant before Yehovah, are one flesh, and therefore holds our reputation accountable before others as such and together we must guard the Name of Yehovah.

 

4^th Commandment – Remember the Sabbath day to keep it set apart. I created everything in 6 days and rested on the 7^th to admire and set it apart as esteemed to Me. You must esteem the 7^th day accordingly.

As a couple, we require one day per week to be together to enjoy each other’s company and be grateful for our union. All other days our union is cohesive and beautiful, but this one day is set aside just for us.

 

5^th Commandment – Honor your father and mother so that your days will be long in the earth.

We should honor our fathers and mothers because their union brought us into the world and we learn to be a child of Yehovah through them. We must train our children to do the same. If our parents did not teach us these concepts, may our union be an example for other couples to be echad in spirit and in truth for the sake of their children and their children’s children.

 

6^th Commandment – You shall not murder.

Human life is the most important life to our Elohim Yehovah. We have no right to its destruction through physical harm, but also through hate and disrespect that leads to abuse of any kind. When our actions destroy a person’s self-worth, that is a form of the murder of the soul.

 

7^th Commandment – You shall not commit adultery.

Adultery between husband and wife is held the same as worshiping idols or false gods between mankind and Yehovah. Faithfulness in our marriage is an example to the world of our relationship with Him. To degrade our marriage in any way is a bad witness for Him.

 

8^th Commandment – You shall not steal.

What has been entrusted to others was done at the will of Yehovah. To take it from them is to steal from Him and in essence, you are saying that He was wrong to let them have it. We do not have that authority. He decides what is ours. Yehovah gives and Yehovah takes away, blessed be the Name of Yehovah. Job 1:21

 

9^th Commandment – You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

To bear false witness against someone interferes with the will of Yehovah in their life. Being honest about our motivations with each other will keep our relationship pure and intimate because it ensures trust. We must not believe hasatan or other people if they lie about our spouse.

 

10^th Commandment – You shall not covet anything that is your neighbor’s.

To envy your neighbor or lust for your neighbor’s possessions is evidence of being dissatisfied with that which Yehovah has blessed us. To covet is evidence of a lack of trust of Yehovah and each other. To be grateful opens the doors for blessings. Even when bad things happen, remember, Yehovah thought us worthy and strong enough and faithful enough to endure it and still bring glory to Him as a couple. 

 

Let’s Midrash* ...

Number 1 is pretty straight forward and makes perfect sense. The covenant is binding and should be respected as such.

Number 2, as we have learned, anything in this life can turn into an idol. Another person, a job, your house or car, a lifestyle, even things as silly as TV shows or keepsakes can become idols. The worst might be the idol of self. Narcissism destroys many marriages.
           Narcissism: excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.
synonyms: vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-adulation, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-conceit, self-centeredness, self-regard, egotism, egoism, egocentricity, egomania... and I will add pride leading to hubris. (hubris – pride lifting oneself to god-like status).

Number 3 is taking your husband’s name. So many couples no longer do this because the woman is the only person to carry on her family name. They come into an agreement that some or all of their children will have their mother’s last name instead of their father’s. This sounds good in theory but there are many reasons for taking on the husband’s name that have to do with how society sees the family as a unit. It used to be that your name was your authority in the marketplace. The Hebrew word for name is shem, pronounced shaym, is what affirms your reputation or authority. A married couple, as one flesh, was considered to have the same reputation and authority. What we have is no longer mine or yours but OURS. In modern times, many remain individual, not realizing that the union of marriage and having one name was designed to be a means of protection and accountability. Only when the two parties lack mutual trust is this a problem.

Number 4 is to remember the sabbath day. I’ve heard many counselors tell couples to set aside one day a week as “date day” to keep their marriage relationship whole and intimacy real and fresh. Most would never connect Shabbat and ‘date day’ but it makes perfect sense in the Hebrew mindset. One day of rest and renewal to be revived as a couple.

Number 5 is to honor your father and mother. You could get into a plethora of issues with this because so many counselors are trying to help people with abusive or missing parents. It’s difficult to know how to be a parent if you didn’t have one or if the ones you had were abusive or were addicts, etc. Our authentic example of a parent is Yehovah and we must get to know Him as our parent. It’s harder to imagine Him as mother unless we get into the Hebrew. God Almighty or El Shaddai in Hebrew has “the nourisher” within its meaning which is something we attribute to motherhood. Ruach HaKodesh are feminine words. Many people with Christian backgrounds would be completely offended by this. But after all, Yehovah did make male and FEMALE in His image, did He not?
Please do not say that Yehovah is bisexual or dual-sexual. The Word says that in Heaven that there is neither male nor female. How is that even possible? Likely because gender (the Elohim-created kind) isn’t the weightier matter in eternity.
The FIRST commandment given to Adam and Chavah was to be fruitful and multiply, but they were made from the dust of the earth and filled with the Ruach (breath) of Yehovah. Yehovah isn’t earthbound. Unless you are a single-celled organism that splits into two, most all animals need two parents. Honoring your father and mother honors their lives as parents and honors their obedience to be fruitful and multiply which is how you were born. If your parents were not godly, at least honor Yehovah’s concept of godly parenthood.

Number 6 is to not murder. The destruction of human life is something that generated with hasatan (the adversary) because he wanted to destroy that which Yehovah loves in an attempt to usurp His authority. In essence, the command to not murder is so that we don’t become like hasatan. Yehovah is a life GIVER. Hasatan is murderous. If anger leading to malice leading to hate is in your marriage, it is a murderous attitude, one that destroys their value may not kill their body, but it will destroy your covenant.

Number 7, you shall not commit adultery; adultery is a direct reflection of unfaithfulness and idolatry toward Yehovah. Basically, you’re purposely breaking your covenant and saying that your spouse is no longer important.

Number 8 is to not steal. Stealing is saying to Yehovah that you do not trust Him to provide for your needs, and that your neighbor’s needs aren’t as important as yours, therefore, you take what they have.

Number 9 is to not bear false witness. Most people take this to mean not to lie and that is certainly part of bearing false witness, but it’s deeper than that. Imagine if you got arrested for something you didn’t do and someone said that you did do it and you went to jail for it, their bearing false witness ruined your life and your reputation. Telling lies ruins the reputation of the liar and the lied about.

Number 10 is to not covet or lust after anything that belongs to your neighbor. This leads to lying and stealing and possibly adultery and even murder and eventually jail time! Providing for your spouse prevents covetousness. Without security there is no trust.


It is interesting that each command stands on its own but also has ties to each of the others. To break one, breaks all. James 2:10

 *Midrash – H4097 – מִדְרָשׁ – meed RASH – story, exegesis, elaborate, treatise; to discuss or talk it out

-Based on the 10 commandments of Yehovah in Exodus 20.

by Marie Schryver - June 22, 2019, ~ Revised July 19, 2025