Transition From Religion to Torah Life in Yashua by Marie Lovell Schryver
As a baptist, I didn’t think anything of the “Holy Spirit” other than He was the 3rd part of the trinity and didn’t really know what that meant. As a “penny-costal” “charismatic” blah, blah, blah, He was always this super spiritual entity that, IF I was holy enough and prayed-up enough, He might wink at me or tap me on the shoulder for some special gifting or goose bumps that was supposed to be a sign of His approval of me. I enjoyed the spiritual mountain tops as much as anyone did during that time but I still felt like I had to prove myself to God and everyone else and I was always not quite enough. I can’t trust my “feelings” at all. Too subjective. So rather than waiting for feelings, I have to choose trust, and faith which leads to hope. If He is my great reward, feelings are irrelevant. Quite frankly, sometimes I feel absolutely nothing and coming from the charismatic genre, they might say that I’m on the verge of backsliding. To that I say, hogwash!
When we began to learn the truth that “we had all
inherited lies” I was just as bad as anyone else when it came to being angry,
disappointed, frustrated and grieved. I was mad at both the leaders and the lay
people we left behind because I thought that these people who I thought were so
righteous were deceived but should have known better! I had guilt for leaving
but finally came to the realization that if I didn’t agree with them, it was they
who didn’t want me but I did want them; I wanted them to see what I was seeing
but they had no desire to see it. I look back and realize how much of how I
acted was wrong but we are all the same creation. Fallen beings. I didn’t have
nearly as hard a time forgiving them, as I did, forgiving myself. I had to forgive
myself for putting all my trust in the church system AND the people who managed
it and eventually those who participated in it. I would say that I grieved
(most all stages of grief) for over a year, maybe two. Something Brett said was
that he was astonished by the whole thing including how people treated us when
we tried to share our hearts with them. Yeah, that’s a good word – astonished. Brett said that I grieved over two years. He's probably right.
I sang (although not very good) and danced
before Yah! I taught every age from toddlers to 30s. I did Sunday school, VBS
and bible studies galore for a total of about 38 years. I did enjoy much of it so,
when I came out, it was like a divorce or a death and I’ve experienced both so,
yeah, it was a lot like that when we finally dusted the dust off our feet
(literally) and said, ‘enough is enough.’
I missed church. I was scared of not having the crutch
too! Oh boy was I scared of not having that crutch!
Yashua gave
Himself for us within Torah! We didn’t extract Him from the church and
put in a Torah fellowship. He was always in Torah because He IS Torah!
It was the church that took Him out of Torah and put Him in a Roman cult! Wow!
That sounds awful. But it’s so true.
His sacrifice has always been sufficient. What mankind
did with religion isn’t. One of the early teachings said that when Adam and
Chavah put that fig leaf covering on, that was the first religion! That makes
sense to me. They replaced their Yehovah-covering with a leaf from a tree (maybe
the one that they ate from) and in His mercy, He took that which was
insufficient and gave us something truly and perfectly sufficient through
Yashua!
Obedience is the highest form of worship and praise is
when the joy of our salvation is the fruit of His love. I realize that I don’t
do any of this perfectly. I get very upset when people say that Torah following
believers have pride. If anything, it has put my gross inadequacies square in
my face! But I do feel more love and awe for Yehovah/Yashua/Ruach
HaKodesh than before.
Learning about Shabbat, the Feast and all the rest of
Torah and how Yashua was perfect in it all is glorious and wonderous. How meticulously
He fulfilled Passover in such a specific way is amazing! The odds of the details happening just that way must be astronomical, not to mention His birth and how He lived His life.
When Adam and Chavah sinned, something instantaneous
must have happened because the all the livestock and beasts of the field were
already cursed before Yah said a word to them about what their future would be
like!
“And יְהוָֺה Elohim said to the naḥash, “Because you have done this, you are cursed more than all livestock and more than every beast of the field. On your belly you are to go, and eat dust all the days of your life.” [Genesis 3:14] He caused everything to turn to dust so that's what he gets to eat!
The ground was cursed because of what Adam did. “Cursed is the ground because of you, in toil you are to eat of it all the days of your life, and the ground shall bring forth thorns and thistles for you, and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you are to eat bread until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken. For dust you are, and to dust you return.” [Genesis3:17b-19]
There is a HUGE Yovel (Jubilee) coming when all of the land on earth will
return to its original Owner – Yehovah!
What will that look like? Quite different likely. I imagine the tribes all in
their places and each tribe having their own land to grow whatever they need and
they share with their neighbors! I pray that I
can be like the last woman in the video clip.
I will still follow even if no one else goes with me.
https://youtu.be/MaRcosUxn0c
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